pardon my schizophrenic outburst.

ANXIETY.

Excited anxiousness that makes my heart flutter and flip-flop and sends my stomach twitching like it’s trying to make a great escape through my mouth.

Tomorrow when I leave the OR after our surgery I will officially be done with physician assistant school. FOR-EV-ER (I need you to say that to yourself like the nerdy kid from Sandlot with the flashlight).

“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.” - Carl Jung

I may not know who I am going to be tomorrow, but I definitely know who I am today. I recognize that every day I wake up I have the ability to determine the type of day I am going to have and the type of day I am going to help others experience. By accepting that responsibility and recognizing that only you determine your happiness and success, you are empowered. Do not say that someone else ruined your day or made you sad or disappointed you. Allowing another human being that much power and control over you is debilitating. Do not permit it. Do not allow yourself to be manipulated by someone who has no stake in your happiness, but relishes in your defeat. Do not.

It is ok to have someone in your life who complements you and enhances your day. However, they cannot make your day. That opens the door to too much risk. Too much can be lost. Do not invest more than you are capable and willing to lose.

I will not gamble with my happiness.

Comments

updated projects because i have ZERO completed ones :)

well! slacker blogger that i am decided today would be a good "catch-up" post day. since the last blog post i successfully grouted tile (and it looks amazing, might i add) and my parents helped me lay about 1,000lbs (ok slight exaggeration) of mulch along the front/west side of my house. so! on to the bathroom -- my bathroom is an amazing original demonstration of 1950s tile. oh, and not just any tile ::: light green and big bird yellow tile. the major redeeming quality is that the grout is impeccable and the tile is all in one piece, no broken/cracked pieces. however, the sink, toilet and tub are all original and other than the tub they are in terrible condition. rusty corroded plumbing and disgusting yellow fixtures. voila! the project that followed my grouting success! below are before and afters. i decided it was most financially wise to remove the toilet and install a water-saving toilet and then get a new sink in there with some storage because the bathroom had...

weekend/sunday project time

about two weeks ago there was an arts market where this guy from atlanta had these really amazing carved wood pieces of art. i ended up with a really awesome owl (see below) but once i hung it on my living room wall i realized it needed some company. i started brainstorming (read: pinterest stalking) and i came across a few ideas for mirrors surrounded by wood, which was the general idea i had to start. my initial thought was taking pallets, ripping the wood and making a basic, rustic, unfinished frame. that idea got scrapped when i saw these postings Wood Chevron Mirror and Shim Mirror . when i saw these i knew that i had to do something similar. sooooo -- i fused the ideas together. off to the home improvement store. i bought 15" long cedar shims, minwax stain in jacobean, two 2x4' pressed boards, glass/mirror cutter, paintbrushes, and gloves. i thought originally to use an old mirror on the back of one of my bedroom doors as the mirror, but my mom ar...

I Did Not Cry

I did not cry. For two weeks I did not cry. As I laid there staring at the ultrasound monitor while the doctor kept adjusting the angle of the ultrasound wand, searching, hunting for a heartbeat, I did not cry. When we sat and tried to determine if our dates were “right” or if they could possible be “off” and the doctor spun his pregnancy calculator wheel to see if the measurements had any possibility of being correct, I did not cry. When the financial coordinator started asking about making our hospital copayment and for the first time I had to say that there was a chance the pregnancy was “no good”, I did not cry. Standing in the parking lot, reminding myself how to take a normal breath while my husband carefully looked me over, assessing to see if I was ok to safely drive the 45 minutes home, I did not cry. We waited ten days to find out that no, there was not a heartbeat, and no, the baby is not growing anymore. Still, I did not cry. I matter-of-factly...

by. the. way.

Search This Blog