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pardon my schizophrenic outburst.

ANXIETY.

Excited anxiousness that makes my heart flutter and flip-flop and sends my stomach twitching like it’s trying to make a great escape through my mouth.

Tomorrow when I leave the OR after our surgery I will officially be done with physician assistant school. FOR-EV-ER (I need you to say that to yourself like the nerdy kid from Sandlot with the flashlight).

“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.” - Carl Jung

I may not know who I am going to be tomorrow, but I definitely know who I am today. I recognize that every day I wake up I have the ability to determine the type of day I am going to have and the type of day I am going to help others experience. By accepting that responsibility and recognizing that only you determine your happiness and success, you are empowered. Do not say that someone else ruined your day or made you sad or disappointed you. Allowing another human being that much power and control over you is debilitating. Do not permit it. Do not allow yourself to be manipulated by someone who has no stake in your happiness, but relishes in your defeat. Do not.

It is ok to have someone in your life who complements you and enhances your day. However, they cannot make your day. That opens the door to too much risk. Too much can be lost. Do not invest more than you are capable and willing to lose.

I will not gamble with my happiness. 
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