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you know it was over before it began.

Countdown has begun. Officially 5 months and 26 days to go… Graduation. Cliché to say it is one of those exciting/terrifying/confusing/exhilarating anticipated moments. It is though. The complicated part involves determining which fractions of my past deserve being ended while my multiple new beginnings set to blossom soon. This is further complicated by having what seems like EVERYONE ask you what field I am going to go into once I’ve graduated and passed my boards.

For a while I was concerned because every rotation I entered left me with the feeling of “Wow, I could do this, too.” I was warned by multiple advisors and professors that I would most likely find myself in that situation; the situation of enjoying and being good at several fields, while finding it difficult to determine which was truly calling to me as a possible profession.

Fortunately, I do not think that will be the case for me. I finally had my true “AHA” moment. The trick is now to align my “AHA” moment with reality… find a nice, competent surgeon who needs a PA. Let’s make it happen (lol).

With that being said, I can comfortably say my life is full. Family, friends, future… all the good F words (haha).

Finality. My new “F” word.

I’m a long-time offender when it comes to cutting people off and removing them from my life the second they disappointed, betrayed, or abandoned me. That resulted in the most sincere form of finality I knew. My new offense is not cutting people off as soon as I should. It is a complicated turn of events. I find myself lending more space for mistakes, more opportunities to injure me emotionally. Trust is very difficult to give; consequently, I now find it much more difficult to recover from those to whom I have given it.

I try to live my life with as little amount of “grey area” as possible. My new mantra is to not allow any relationships exist in that grey area either… I think this will be for the best. <3


I’m not here for your entertainment; you don’t really wanna mess with me tonight…
You know it was over before it began…  -- Pink. 


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