voyeur's paradise

Airports have always intrigued me.

It's one of those few sacred places where unabashed sobbing is permitted without the turn of a disapproving eye, and intense, public displays of intimate emotion is exhibited for all to see. The single tear glistening on a pink-kissed cheek, the wailing of children waving bye-bye as Daddy leaves for a business trip, and the near-cliche lovers' embrace that swoops the female from her feet, elevating her for just that single moment. Immensely powerful, solitary acts that, for that one second, convince you that no one else is there; no one else is watching, sharing this private moment.

They are fleeting events, and yet their power is undeniable. Ever notice when one of these such events occurs and amidst the sea of travelers, a part forms, passengers flowing around these exhibitionists, revealing this quick glimpse into a fraction of their lives. I love to watch it happen, almost as though it is an intricately choreographed dance. It happens in a fluid movement; pedestrians do not break stride as they move aside for the two.

There is no judgment here.

Comments

I Did Not Cry

I did not cry. For two weeks I did not cry. As I laid there staring at the ultrasound monitor while the doctor kept adjusting the angle of the ultrasound wand, searching, hunting for a heartbeat, I did not cry. When we sat and tried to determine if our dates were “right” or if they could possible be “off” and the doctor spun his pregnancy calculator wheel to see if the measurements had any possibility of being correct, I did not cry. When the financial coordinator started asking about making our hospital copayment and for the first time I had to say that there was a chance the pregnancy was “no good”, I did not cry. Standing in the parking lot, reminding myself how to take a normal breath while my husband carefully looked me over, assessing to see if I was ok to safely drive the 45 minutes home, I did not cry. We waited ten days to find out that no, there was not a heartbeat, and no, the baby is not growing anymore. Still, I did not cry. I matter-of-factly...

and four months later...

four months ago was demo work (well, August 4th to be exact)... then it was a major mold problem... then Ollie became incredibly ill, we thought we were going to lose him, and I was caravanning from my parents' house to work (read: two hours round trip) every day. however, four months later, a diagnosis and recovery from Pemphigus for Ollie, flooring down, new ceilings, updated electric, and lots of quality time with my parents, i am ALMOST done. big things have happened and between commuting, crazy long hours at work, too-frequent vet specialist appointments, and travel for work and holidays -- i present: PROGRESS! --- let's take a step back and remember what we *used* to see in my kitchen --- --- and after cabinets and counters installed --- antique leather granite, oooooh. so, we have not quite finishing toe kicks or baseboards, but door trim, handles, pulls, appliances (read: the first time this house as ever had a dishwasher, EVER) ins...

far and away

I’m going back to Peru. I’ve wanted to return to Peru since the moment I left it four years ago. Knowing the immensely profound opportunity I have to travel to a foreign country, be welcomed by a community, and help that community with my newly acquired skills and knowledge has the power to make me take a deep breath and hold it. Then I stop and think: Is one week enough? The answer is most definitely: No, it is not. I want to stay there for months…and months. There are multiple problems with that. 1. That would be expensive. 2. I have a fantastic job opportunity that will not wait for me for that long. 3. I do not know if I have the capacity for being alone in a country I do not know, speaking a language I am only slightly acquainted with for that period of time. I am not sure which of those three problems is the most significant. Maybe they are all equally significant. Each has its own importance. The last thing I want to do is go to an amazing country for an extended time whil...

by. the. way.

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